Socializing is a skill that everybody learns growing up and is unique to each individual based on what they’ve learned, practiced, and applied up until this point. In a world where time is constantly moving quickly, being able to socialize, and socializing comfortably in any scenario is a skill that is necessary for us to be on top of our social game. Whether you’re socializing casually amongst friends or chatting up a potential mate, remember these five tips that can help make you a better socializer.
1. It All Starts with Being a Good Listener
This one is a no brainer, but is overlooked most of the time due to people being easily distracted or simply aren’t interesting in what the speaker has to say. This is crucial to any interaction because it allows you to provide a validating response and contribute to the interaction. This is very important in building rapport especially to people you’ve just met. Just listening to key points during the conversation will quickly allow you to continue the interaction and allow you to lead by either changing to a new subject (aka changing directions) or continue staying on the subject after you’ve contributed to that response.
2. Contribute and Add to the Interaction
Contributing to the conversation is just as important as the listening portion of any interaction. By contributing to the interaction, you are showing that person that you are genuinely interested in the subject and want them to explain/discuss/know more, whatever to build rapport. Once enough rapport is built, the other person will want to continue the interaction which will make conversating much more comfortable and enjoyable. Don’t just stand there nodding your head while the other person is speaking while waiting for him/her to finish so you can quickly change subjects (unless the topic is really that bad). Just listen, contribute, and add value.
3. Filter Yourself Less and Be More Socially Uninhibited
Ever had an interaction with someone and they just seem to effortlessly talk about anything that comes across their mind? I’m talking about random topics from the shit they eat in the morning to the weird sleeping routines they have before they go to bed. It’s a bit strange how they can keep going on and on and never get tired.
How do they do it? How do they come up with so many off-related topics that they just effortlessly start talking about the first thing that comes to mind? Well that’s because they have little to no filter and are socially uninhibited about the stuff that comes out of their mouths. As social human beings, we are naturally filtering ourselves to think before we speak which is good to have a filter on certain subjects but not so good if we completely inhibit ourselves socially from others.
Now we’re not saying to completely throw out your filter, no. You’ll just end up being one of those people that can sit there and talk about the weather for an hour while the whole room is ready to blow their brains out. But to filter yourself less, so you are more confident to talk about any subject while not being an annoying chatter-mouth to the rest of the world.
4. Always Keep A Positive Vibe, Either Verbal or Non-Verbal
Everybody likes to be in a positive mood and this goes especially true to the other person you’re engaging with or they wouldn’t be conversating with you in the first place. One of the biggest traits that all good socializers have in common is that they always project a positive vibe to the other person to feel.
Non-verbally speaking, think of puppies when you first see them. They’re super excited to see you and just run up to you with their tails wagging ready to pounce the ever loving shit out of you. Automatically you already feel a sense of comfort and excitement from the pup because of the vibe that it’s giving off. The positive energy that you give off will transfer to other people and they will start to feel at east and more relaxed during the conversation which will make socializing much more enjoyable and easier. Giving off any negative vibes during the interaction will make them feel uncomfortable and by feeling nervous, awkward, or even being in a low energy state when everyone is currently amped up is one of the few ways to kill any social interaction.
5. Control your Tone, Energy, and Body Language
Your non-verbal interactions are just as important as your verbal interactions when you are socializing amongst people. When socializing be sure to control certain factors of the interaction outside of the topic at hand. The tonality of your voice is important because by controlling your tone and projecting the right amount of energy to others, you will be able to give a much more engaging social interaction which will grab their full attention. Using strong body language is also important to any social interaction as well because it engages the other person non-verbally and animates your actions to give a more powerful response while conversing.
To Sum It Up
So for those looking to tune their social game up a bit just remember to be a good listener during the interaction and to contribute to the topic to build more rapport with the speaker. Practice filtering yourself less by speaking to anyone about anything and always keep a positive vibe to make the other person feel comfortable. Finally be sure to control your tone and direct your body language and energy correctly when speaking.
There you have it: 5 Simple tips that will make you a better socializer that you can start adopting to increase your social skills. Whether you’re a natural or someone learning to socialize better, a little bit of practice while remembering these tips will get you to becoming a more confident and fun person to talk to.